When someone you love dies, it can feel as though a hundred things need doing at once. They do not. In the first hours, only a few steps matter, and a funeral home can take most of them off your hands. This guide walks through what to do first, what can wait, and what your rights are when you arrange a funeral in California.
In the first hours
What you do first depends on where and how the death happened.
An expected death at home, with hospice
If your loved one was in hospice care, call the hospice nurse first, not 911. The nurse will confirm the death and let you know when you can call the funeral home. There is no rush. Many families take time to sit with their loved one, pray, or call relatives before the funeral home arrives.
An unexpected death at home
Call 911. Paramedics will respond, and the police and the county coroner may become involved. This is routine for any sudden or unexplained death and does not mean anyone has done something wrong.
A death in a hospital or nursing home
The staff will guide you through their process and ask which funeral home you have chosen. You can tell them now or call them back once you have decided. The funeral home then arranges the transfer directly with the facility.
When the coroner is involved
California law requires the coroner to look into deaths that are violent, sudden or unusual, including accidents, injuries and suicides. It also covers any death where no doctor, or hospice nurse, had seen the person in the 20 days before. In Orange County, these deaths go to the Orange County Sheriff-Coroner (opens in a new tab).
The coroner may keep your loved one for examination before releasing them. This can add a day or more, and it is one of the most common reasons a funeral or an overseas transfer takes longer than planned. If the coroner gives you a case number, pass it to the funeral home you choose. The funeral home then works with the coroner’s office for you and tells you as soon as your loved one can be released.
Call a funeral home
You do not need to make any decisions on the first call. A funeral home will ask where your loved one is, and arrange to bring them into its care, at any hour. At Heaven’s Gate, our licensed staff answer 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, in English or Vietnamese, at (714) 892-8494.
You can call a funeral home even if you have not decided between burial and cremation, or whether your loved one will be laid to rest here or in another country.
Information to gather
The funeral home needs some details to prepare the death certificate. Having them ready saves time, but do not worry if you cannot find everything at once.
- Full legal name, exactly as it appears on a passport, green card or ID
- Date and place of birth
- Social Security number
- Home address, marital status, and the name of a spouse if married
- Father’s full name and mother’s full name before marriage
- Highest level of education and usual occupation
- Military service, if any
- Any written wishes, pre-arranged funeral plans, or cemetery property
Check the spelling of the name
Vietnamese names can be written in several orders and with or without accents. The death certificate should match the name on the person’s legal documents exactly. A mismatch can delay life insurance claims, bank transfers, and especially an overseas transfer, where every document must agree.
Death certificates
In California, the funeral director prepares the death certificate and registers it electronically with the county, once the doctor or the coroner has certified the cause of death. The law requires this within 8 days of the death, and before any permit for burial, cremation or transport is issued.
You will need certified copies to settle your loved one’s affairs. Banks, insurers, pension plans, the DMV and property records may each ask for one, and an overseas transfer needs more. Certified copies cost $26 each in California. The funeral home can order them for you, and it is easier to order enough at the start than to request more later.
Deciding on burial or cremation
Once the first calls are made, the family can decide how to lay their loved one to rest. The main choices are:
- Burial, with or without a viewing and funeral service beforehand.
- Cremation, which can also follow a viewing and service. The ashes can be kept, placed in a columbarium or temple, buried, or carried to another country.
- Transfer to another state or country, such as bringing a loved one home to Vietnam, for burial where the family wishes.
Faith and family tradition often guide the choice. If your family follows Vietnamese customs, our guide to Vietnamese funeral traditions may help you plan.
Your rights when you compare prices
A federal regulation called the FTC Funeral Rule (opens in a new tab) protects you when you arrange a funeral. Among other things, it gives you the right to:
- Get prices over the phone, and receive an itemized General Price List when you ask about arrangements in person
- Choose only the goods and services you want, rather than a package
- Use a casket or urn you bought elsewhere. The funeral home cannot refuse to handle it.
- Receive a written, itemized statement of what you have chosen and what it costs before you pay
Embalming is usually a choice. The FTC notes that no state law requires routine embalming for every death, and the California Cemetery and Funeral Bureau (opens in a new tab) confirms that California law does not require it. The coroner, or another state or country your loved one is traveling to, may require it, and a funeral home may require it for a public viewing. If your loved one is not embalmed and will be held more than 24 hours, the funeral home must refrigerate them.
Our General Price List (opens in a new tab) is published, and we give every family a written quote before anything is booked.
In the weeks that follow
Once the funeral is arranged, the rest can be handled one step at a time:
- Social Security. Funeral homes usually report the death to Social Security, but contact them yourself about survivor benefits. A one-time $255 payment is available to a surviving spouse who lived with your loved one, or to a spouse or child receiving benefits on their record. It must be claimed within two years.
- Employer and benefits. Let the employer, pension plan, and any life insurance companies know.
- Banks and bills. Notify banks and credit card companies, and keep paying essential bills such as utilities for the home.
- Legal matters. Locate the will or trust. An attorney can explain whether probate is needed.
- Accounts and documents. Cancel the driver’s license, passport, and subscriptions, and close online accounts.
You do not have to do this alone
Grief makes even simple tasks hard. It is fine to lean on family, friends, your temple or parish, and the funeral home. When you are ready, call us. We will explain every step in English or Vietnamese, and there is never a charge to talk.